Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
