peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
