So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
