i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
