You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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