sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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