he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
