can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
