Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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