So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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