I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize