Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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