That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
