I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
