Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
