Tell her she can't have a vagina
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
