STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
