Christians are straight up FREAKS
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
