My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
where does the pee come out of this thing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
