I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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