So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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