bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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