i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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