Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
