I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
