my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
