Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
