I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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