Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
