This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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