i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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