Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
