You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
