I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
