just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i've created a new STD.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
