just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
