i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
