I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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