Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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(314): View more from Missouri

she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.

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(847): View more from Illinois

you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that actually explains a lot

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(214): View more from Texas

Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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(912): View more from Georgia

I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets

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(863): View more from Florida

So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.

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(904): View more from Florida

so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?

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