Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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