I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
