No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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