Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize