I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am available for nakedness
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
