Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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