I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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