Already got asked if we're dating
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am available for nakedness
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
