Me. At least after what I've been through.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
