My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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