Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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