Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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