Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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