i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize