i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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