So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she peed on how many people?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
