you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
