Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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