fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
