I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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