I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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