so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
