you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
