All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
