All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize