You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
