Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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