Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
