I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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