you turned your livingroom into a bong?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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