Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
