he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
