I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
