so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
