She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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