She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
