worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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