YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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