I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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