sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize