They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
