Do you still have your period?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
